A Lighthearted Look at Character, Charm, and the Virtues We Carry
If you’ve ever read Jane Austen and thought, “Good heavens, I hope I’m not that woman,” you are in excellent company. In my book club, the ladies recently began comparing themselves to Austen’s mothers, aunts, and perennial spinsters; not the main characters, but the supporting ladies—with much laughter, a little horror, and several reluctant confessions of, “Yes, I suppose I do panic exactly like Mrs. Bennet…”
The truth is, Austen’s world offers a remarkable gallery of female archetypes. Some are paragons of sense and virtue (hello, Mrs. Gardiner, the wise and elegant aunt from Pride and Prejudice). Some are beautiful and charming but morally wobbly (Mary Crawford of Mansfield Park). Some are sweet and helplessly chatty (Miss Bates from Emma), and some are loving but in perpetual meltdown (Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice)..
And then there are the mothers
- Mrs. Dashwood (Sense & Sensibility): warm-hearted but imprudent.
- Lady Bertram (Mansfield Park): gentle, kind… and sound asleep.
- Mrs. Jennings (S&S): boisterous, meddling, generous, unforgettable.
These women are memorable because they are recognizable. We know them; in our families, our parishes, our friend circles, and occasionally, in the mirror. And seeing ourselves in an Austen character can be both humbling and hilarious… which is why the following quiz exists.
It’s meant to be fun, a bit savage, but ultimately educational; because Austen never paints folly without also illuminating the virtue that corrects it.
The goal isn’t to label anyone. It’s to enjoy a moment of literary self-awareness and maybe say, “Ah. I see what she’s doing there.” Austen believed that humor is one of the gentlest teachers of wisdom — and she was right.
Without further ado…
Which Austen Lady Are You? — The Quiz
1. When someone in the family starts dating, you…
A. Panic, plan the wedding, and tell three friends immediately.
B. Smile warmly and pray they stay level-headed.
C. Offer unsolicited advice because you “sense something off.”
D. Observe quietly because you see everything.
E. Flirt with the idea of flirting with him yourself (for the drama).
F. Take over the situation like a general planning a campaign.
2. Your ideal evening at home looks like…
A. Talking excitedly about your daughters’ prospects.
B. A cozy fire, good book, and gentle conversation.
C. Managing everyone’s schedules with military precision.
D. Falling asleep on the couch with the dog.
E. A lively party where you can charm absolutely everyone.
F. Baking muffins for friends and narrating the whole process aloud.
3. Your greatest strength in relationships is…
A. Loving fiercely.
B. Listening deeply.
C. Offering wise counsel.
D. Making people feel welcome.
E. Witty conversation.
F. Impeccable manners and presentation.
4. And your greatest weakness is…
A. Anxiety and overreaction.
B. Emotional impulsiveness.
C. Pride disguised as “prudence.”
D. Chronic laziness or avoidance.
E. Moral blind spots hidden by charm.
F. Meddling or gossiping just a hair too much.
5. When someone confides a secret, you…
A. Accidentally blurt it to your sister five minutes later.
B. Hide it in your heart and pray for them.
C. Give detailed advice and secretly hope they follow it.
D. Forget half of it by morning.
E. Tell one very close friend, but mostly for analysis.
F. Announce it cheerfully at lunch because you assumed it was already public knowledge.
6. Your approach to fashion:
A. Respectable and a touch showy.
B. Simple, modest, tasteful.
C. Polished, correct, impeccable.
D. Comfortable above all.
E. Stylish, bold, dramatic.
F. Whatever was on sale at the village shop.
7. Your reaction to a folly or scandal:
A. Utter emotional meltdown.
B. Quiet sorrow and steadying counsel.
C. “I knew it — I told her.”
D. “Oh dear… shall I make tea?”
E. Fascinated but morally unshaken.
F. Immediately involved, for better or worse.
Results
❦ Mostly A — Mrs. Bennet
The Anxious Matchmaker**
You love fiercely; sometimes too fiercely. Your heart is generous and your intentions are good, but your nerves outrun your judgment. Like Mrs. Bennet, you long to see everyone you love settled, happy, and secure… but your enthusiasm can tip into breathlessness, catastrophizing, or premature conclusions.
Your Strengths:
- Devotion to family
- Loyalty
- Natural warmth and good humor
- A genuine desire to see others flourish
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Cultivate prudence, the queen of the virtues; the ability to pause, breathe, think, and only then act. Your love becomes far more powerful when governed by calm reason.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
A warm heart is a gift; a frantic spirit is not. Direct your affection with steadiness, and you will become the wise mother you long to be.
❦ Mostly B — Mrs. Gardiner or Mrs. Dashwood
The Tender Mentor / Romantic Materfamilias**
This is a beautiful blend: the gentle practicality of Mrs. Gardiner with the emotional richness of Mrs. Dashwood. You are tender, attentive, morally sincere, and genuinely invested in the well-being of others. People trust you because your counsel comes from love.
Your Strengths:
- Emotional warmth
- Strong moral instinct
- Nurturing spirit
- Sense of beauty, poetry, and meaning in life
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Your heart is deep, but sometimes your emotions lead the dance. Strengthen prudence, balance, and deliberation so your sentiment does not outrun your wisdom.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
Your tenderness is your power; but it becomes unshakable when anchored in disciplined judgment. Marry heart to reason, and you become an Austen heroine in full.
❦ Mostly C — Lady Russell
The Well-Meaning but Misguided Aunt**
You are dignified, loyal, and deeply committed to the good of those you love. Your caution is noble in its intent; you want to protect others from suffering. But like Lady Russell, your prudence sometimes slides into over-caution, which can smother hope and prevent positive risks in those you counsel.
Your Strengths:
- Steadfast loyalty
- Moral seriousness
- Desire to protect and guide
- Strong sense of propriety and responsibility
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Temper your caution with courage. The brave choice is often the right one. Not every unfamiliar man is a Wickham; some are Wentworths.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
Do not let fear masquerade as wisdom. True prudence sees possibilities, not just dangers.
❦ Mostly D — Lady Bertram or Miss Tilney
The Cloud-Floating Gentlewoman / The Reserved Gem**
Either you are the serene, gentle mother who drifts peacefully through life (Lady Bertram), or the quiet, perceptive woman who observes all with a calm spirit (Miss Tilney). In either case, you bring peace to chaotic rooms and stability to tense hearts.
Your Strengths:
- Gentleness
- Humility
- Receptivity
- Peaceful presence
- Honest simplicity
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Lady Bertram-types need more fortitude; more engagement, more initiative, more participation in the moral life of the home.
Miss Tilney-types may need more candor; the willingness to speak up when something needs to be said.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
Your serenity is a blessing, but virtue asks you to be peaceful and purposeful.
❦ Mostly E — Mary Crawford
The Charming Temptress**
You are magnetic — witty, stylish, socially brilliant, with a quick mind and natural charisma. Men admire you; women notice when you enter the room. But like Mary Crawford, your gifts can be used for good or for self-serving charm.
Your Strengths:
- Intelligence
- Charisma
- Conversational brilliance
- Emotional intuition
- Social elegance
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Your temptation is worldliness; valuing charm above principle, excitement above goodness. You must ground your brilliance in virtue, or it will lead you astray.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
Your beauty of body, mind and spirit were meant for nobility, not mere amusement. Aim your gifts at the good, and you will astonish the world.
❦ Mostly F — Mrs. Jennings or Miss Bates
The Generous Meddler / Sweet Scatterbrain**
You overflow with goodwill — kindness bubbles out of you like champagne. You love people, love caring for them, love gossiping (harmlessly, mostly), and love being part of the joy and sorrow of others.
Your Strengths:
- Kindness
- Hospitality
- Warmth
- Generous spirit
- Ability to make anyone feel welcome
Where Virtue Can Grow:
Your enthusiasm can tip into indiscretion. You don’t mean to overshare; you’re just excited. But a little prudence and restraint will sharpen your goodness instead of scattering it.
Hearth of Virtue Reminder:
Your heart is enormous; your filters, less so. Guard your tongue, and your goodness becomes radiant instead of chaotic.
❦ Final Thought
At the end of the day, every Austen woman — mother, aunt, or spinster — shows us something true about ourselves. We are all a mixture of virtue and folly, strength and softness, insight and blind spots. Austen simply had the genius (and the charity) to reveal these truths with humor instead of humiliation.
If you found yourself in Mrs. Bennet’s nerves, Lady Russell’s caution, Mary Crawford’s charm, or Miss Bates’s chatter; take heart. The point isn’t to sigh, “Oh dear, I’m hopeless,” but to smile and say, “Ah. Here is where I can grow.”
Virtue is formed gently, day by day, in the small choices we make: the steady breath before we speak, the thought behind our counsel, the courage to act, the humility to listen. Austen knew this. And she invites us — lovingly, playfully — to know it too.
So wherever you landed in this quiz, remember: every woman can become more gracious, more grounded, more truly herself.
And that, after all, is the quiet work of feminine virtue.
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